“Marriage is a Bond so Strong, yet it gets weak if the couples do not weave the threads carefully, lovingly.” ― Sara Khan, Separated!: Making a Decision is Hard… Sticking on it is Harder
What Is Couples Therapy?
According to the American Association for Marriage and Family therapy statistics, 97.1 percent of clients were satisfied with the services they received at the couples therapy. This just gets to show the essence of visiting a relationship expert when dating. Couples therapy is when two people in a relationship chose to seek the help of a couples counsellor in understanding each other deeper, their fears, triggers, compatibility, and improve their communication.
You see, people are different and may respond to issues differently. For instance, a wife may resort to silent treatment when they don’t get what they want. This leads to the husband thinking that the wife doesn’t want to talk to them. It may also lead to doubts like feeling like you aren’t good enough. Going to couples therapy will help you to open up and discover that it would have been easier if you had told your husband what you were really expecting of him. This leads to clear communication and a happier and confident couple.
Couples therapy provides a safe space for both parties to air their issues, devoid of your old ways of communicating. It helps you understand the behaviour and communication patterns that are working against your relationship.
What To Expect in a Couples Therapy?
Once you chose to go for couples therapy, expect to:
Give your basic information: Both of you will be required to give your personal information. You will be asked about your family background, childhood, school, employment, and details leading to how you met. All this is essential for the therapist to understand you on a personal level to diagnose the problem better.
Get to the root problem: The problem that you are having or seeking to solve all a couple usually has a starting point. For instance, you may be arguing with your husband all the time when the root of it is having an abusive dad growing up. This makes you carry the anger and emotions of your childhood to your marriage.
Set goals: When you go to a therapist, there are some things that you want to shift in your relationship. Maybe you want to work on your relationship for the better or feel you cannot go on, and you should peacefully go your separate ways. Some relationships can’t be salvaged but talking it through may have you shaving a good friendship even after ending things.
Acquire new skills: Also, acquiring new skills in your relationship is an outcome of couples therapy. Such skills are communication skills, selflessness, trust, patience, and honesty.
Action: You will also be required to take and put to practice what you are learning. You are going on dates, satisfying your partner in bed, and even watching romantic or educational programs together.
Self-care: You may also be required to take care of yourself in order to be a better partner. Things like attending individual counselling, watching out for your triggers, and learning to manage your anger will go a long way in fulfilling your relationship.
Who Should Consider Couples Therapy?
Below are some pointers that you need a couples therapy.
- Lost Trust
In a relationship, the trust may be lost if there have been lies, unfaithfulness, or emotional infidelity. Trust is the glue that keeps relationships steady, and going to a therapist will help in so many ways.
- Constant Arguments
It’s tiring to argue all the time with a partner. It may be your partner isn’t treating you as you deserve, arguing over parenting skills, problems at work, or any other unknown reason. A couples therapist could help unmask what’s really causing the drama, whether it’s your childhood issues or problems at work.
- Lack of proper communication:
If you don’t communicate, then it may be hard to stay together. I know of a couple that divorced because the husband was squeezing toothpaste from the front instead of squeezing from the farthest end. Communication helps rid of such tiny problems that lead to elephant problems.
- You feel something is wrong:
Sometimes, you just feel like something isn’t right, but you can’t wrap your hands around it. A therapy session will provide a safe space for you to express yourself and identify what really is bothering you.
- You have experienced a difficult time together:
Going through a heartbreaking moment for both of you may make it hard to cope. For instance, the loss of a child can hit hard. There may be blaming each other, or you may just have different styles of grieving. Therapy sessions can help a lot in getting you through such times.
How Does Couples Therapy Help?
You are maybe surprised by what talking can do for a relationship. Many ends up in separation and divorce just because they were unable to share.
First, therapy gives you a conducive room to talk freely about yourself, your partner, and what you feel needs to change for your relationship to work out. There are no judgments, and the therapist offers professional and balanced counselling to help you as a couple.
It also helps improve your bond. You are able to treat your partner better by understanding their needs. You also get suggestions like going on frequent dates and watching movies together, which makes you share more time together.
It also helps you understand your partner deeper from their childhood experiences to current problems at work which makes you more empathetic.
Besides, it helps save your relationship that would otherwise end in divorce.
