Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling, often seen as a proactive and remedial approach to addressing marital issues, offers numerous benefits that can significantly enhance the quality and resilience of a relationship. Here are some of the key advantages of engaging in marriage counseling:

– Improved Communication: Learn practical communication skills to express your needs, listen actively, and resolve conflicts constructively.

– Rebuilding Trust: Addressing trust issues involves rebuilding broken trust and establishing a foundation rooted in honesty and transparency within your relationship.

– Conflict Resolution: Gain strategies to navigate disagreements and conflicts healthily and productively, fostering mutual understanding and compromise.

– Enhanced Intimacy: Rediscover emotional and physical intimacy, reignite passion, and strengthen the connection between you and your partner.

– Individual Growth: Explore personal growth opportunities, understand your triggers and behaviours, and learn how they impact your relationship.

– Supportive Environment: Receive guidance and support from trained therapists in a safe, non-judgmental space where you can openly express your feelings and concerns.

– Tools for Long-Term Success: Acquire practical tools and techniques to sustain positive changes and cultivate a thriving and fulfilling relationship long after counselling.

Here’s a step-by-step outline of the general marriage counselling process: It can vary from couple to couple.

1. Initial Assessment

• Introduction: The therapist meets with both partners to understand the relationship dynamics and issues.
• Background Information: Each partner may be asked to provide their personal history and the history of the relationship.
• Goals Setting: The couple and the therapist collaboratively set goals for the therapy sessions.

2. Identifying Issues

• Communication Problems: Identifying and addressing poor communication patterns.
• Conflict Resolution: Understanding how conflicts are currently handled and developing healthier strategies.
• Individual Issues: Recognising the personal issues of each partner that affect their relationship.

3. Therapeutic Interventions

• Building Communication Skills: Teaching effective communication techniques to help partners express themselves clearly and listen actively.
• Problem-Solving Skills: Developing strategies to resolve conflicts constructively.
• Emotional Understanding: Helping partners understand and manage their emotions better.
• Rebuilding Trust: Specific interventions to rebuild trust may be implemented for couples dealing with trust issues.

4. Homework and Practice

• Assignments: Couples are often given exercises to practice outside sessions to reinforce what is learned during therapy.
• Tracking Progress: Keeping a journal or log of interactions and feelings to discuss in future sessions.

5. Monitoring Progress

• Regular Check-ins: The therapist reviews the couple’s progress towards their goals.
• Adjustments: Adapting the therapy plan based on what is or is not working.

6. Closure and Follow-Up

• Reviewing Achievements: Summarising the progress made and the skills learned.
• Maintenance Plan: Develop a plan to maintain improvements and address future issues.
• Follow-Up Sessions: Scheduling follow-up sessions if needed to ensure the relationship remains on track.

Marriage counselling can employ various therapeutic approaches with unique techniques and philosophies. Here’s an overview of some popular methods used at Insightful Counselling, Singapore.

1. Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is based on Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s extensive research on couples. This approach focuses on:

– Building Love Maps: Encouraging partners to know each other’s world.

– Turning Towards Instead of Away: Strengthening emotional connection by responding to bids for attention.

– Managing Conflict: Understanding the difference between solvable and perpetual problems and developing healthy conflict resolution skills.

– Creating Shared Meaning: Building a sense of shared purpose and values.

The Gottman Method emphasises the importance of friendship, fondness, and admiration in a relationship, along with effective communication and conflict management techniques.

 2. Transactional Analysis (TA)

Social interactions (or “transactions”) are analysed in Transactional Analysis to determine the ego state of the communicator towards their partners, for example – (Parent-like, Child-like, or Adult-like). In marriage counselling, TA focuses on:

-Relationship Analysis: It is a valuable exercise that helps couples become aware of the ego states they use with each other.

– Ego States: Understanding how different ego states affect communication and behaviour.

– Transactions: Analysing interactions to identify and change dysfunctional patterns.

– Scripts: Exploring life scripts developed in childhood that influence behaviour and relationships.

TA helps couples understand and change their communication patterns and address underlying psychological issues affecting their relationship.

 3. Talk Therapy

Talk therapy explores the underlying psychological roots of relationship issues. It involves:

– Exploring Past Experiences: Understanding how past relationships and experiences influence current behaviour and emotions.

– Insight-Oriented: Gaining insights into unconscious processes affecting the relationship.

– Emotionally Focused: Addressing deep-seated emotional issues and patterns.

This approach helps couples uncover and work through unresolved issues from their past that may be impacting their relationship.

 4. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

An essential component of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the identification and modification of negative thoughts and behaviours. In marriage counselling, CBT involves:

– Identifying Cognitive Distortions: Recognising and challenging negative thoughts about the relationship.

– Behavioural Interventions: Encouraging positive behaviours and interactions.

– Skill Building: Developing effective communication, problem-solving, and conflict-resolution skills.

CBT helps couples reframe negative thoughts and develop healthier, more constructive interaction patterns.

Couples may benefit from one or a combination of these therapies, depending on their specific needs and the nature of their relationship challenges.

Insightful Counselling is based out of Singapore. It offers face to face as well as online sessions. We help by facilitating discussions with you and your partner, and bring to light issues that need to be tackled. We will ensure your comfort with airing out your issues and establishing a common ground by providing a safe environment, which is non-judgemental and gives a listening ear to both the spouses equally.

Yes. We offer both face-to-face counselling at our center and online counselling via Zoom. Once you’ve scheduled a session with us, we’ll coordinate and provide you with secure Zoom login information.